Dustin Diamond Maybe Wanted To Stab Someone (VIDEO)

Bars on Christmas night are an inherently grim scene. It’s the one night of the year when the Good Lord dictates you stay inside and get shit faced with your loved ones. If that means secretly taking pulls off a bottle of Southern Comfort in the top cabinet so be it. The entire point of having a girlfriend over the holidays is so you won’t be out burning the midnight oil in a dive on Jesus’ birthday. Dustin Diamond was with his girl getting lit in the Wisconsin public when some guys probably started making fun of him for being TV’s Screech. In measured response, Diamond stabbed one of them with a switchblade.

Diamond claims he acted in self-defense and that his girlfriend was being attacked. But video taken right before the stabbing shows a premeditating Diamond pondering exactly how he was going to stab someone with his switchblade. Rule number one about switchblades is that people who buy them really want to stab someone with a switchblade. Before Diamond shanked the guy there was time enough for some chick in the background to remark “Holy shit, he’s got a fucking knife!” You’d think that would give one ample time to put the knife back in your pocket and exit the standoff now that the element of surprise is no longer. But then there’s all that inebriated Screech pride boiling up and the pressure to prove to your girl that you’re a man. Please take some time during your prison stint to at least consider your choice of weapons.

Photo credit: Splash News