DeMarco Murray Might Be a Shitty Friend

Cowboys running back DeMarco Murray apparently banged his college teammate’s wife. Eventual car salesman Brennan Clay caught wind of his hot ass wife’s nude text messages with Murray, who mentored Clay when they attended Oklahoma together and smoked weed while people took their mid-terms for them. Clay took to Twitter while most likely shit faced on St. Ides and lambasted the two conspirators:

“So Demarco Murray was having an affair with my wife ..I’m done.”

An appropriate response to be certain. I congratulate him for sticking up for himself. Unfortunately he did this from a shitty two bedroom while Murray bent his wife over a candlelit takeout meal from Ruth’s Chris he paid for in crisp hundreds. You have to have some foresight in these matters. This hot piece of ass married you because she thought you were going pro. You didn’t. Your buddy did. Now she’s with him. This is just nature course correcting for human error, like tsunamis reclaiming the shorelines where rich people though the views were spectacular. A gentle reminder of the master plan.

Photo Credit: Instagram