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December 2, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments
People who claim I never have anything nice to say have never seen me fawn disgustingly over attractive women. That’s when every cloyingly sweet statement I’ve ever conceived comes rolling out in a diarrhetic length of mumbles that ensures I’m one flinch away from a rape whistle to the ear. I should admire men who are more confident around beautiful women, but I just assume they’re gay or serial killers or gay serial killers. If I ever met this chick I’d probably tell her she smells like the pleasant floral douches and ask if I can chew her used gum. Commence the whistle.
Photo Credit: Kandy Magazine