Sororities Keeping It Real

Two freshman at Medgar Evers College are pissed about having to endure the hazing they clearly signed up for. Shawntee Jackson and Gabby Jones were forced to answer questions about their sexual history and whether it was cool if they could be rope tied to a tree naked or not. Being forward thinking young women they decided the best course of action was to participate in these degrading activities and then complain later. You could always eschew the sorority system, rent an apartment, and make friends in the laundry room like most people, but that would require a whole bunch of those qualities employers always list that they’re looking for in prospective hires. Look for the college administration to leap into action by pretending they had no idea their sororities were hazing pledges and for these whistleblower pledges to be randomly assaulted with used tampons. As time passes, everybody will make friends again bonded by their common destiny of being graduates from a mediocre college with student loan debt they can’t possibly pay back.

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