Scary Spice Had a Toddy or Three

Downside of fame, you can’t stumble out of a bar without the world knowing you had one too many. That along with having to rub the heads of contagious children and pretending you love U2 are probably the major cons of being a celebrity. Mel B used to be known as Scary Spice because when it came time to name the Spice Girls somebody decided that black people were frightening and that kind of stuck after Darky Spice came back as a no-go from the label. Victoria Beckham got Posh Spice because she’s anorexic and WASPy and those girls do love to shop to fill the voids in their starving hearts. Fuck, I’d get loaded too if I was the scary one. You want your monster, here’s your fucking monster. Somebody catch me, I have an open marriage.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI