Kelly Brook Understands Halloween, Heidi Klum Doesn’t

I find the adult subversion of Halloween to be one of the lamer modern social conventions. There’s a bunch of fun stuff we cast off as we grow up like our tinker toys and Happy Meals and the naive belief that athletes and political leaders aren’t beating their women and fucking their male assistants. Turning a children’s dress up party into a drunken adult slut fest is rather Caligula. It’s inherently deviant. In which case, why not show off your tits and make this all about naughty sex. Dressing up like Raggedy Ann or Hello Kitty or an ornate alien butterfly like Heidi Klum, what the hell is the point of that? I get it, you got a make-up artist and a costume guy and a ton of free time. Big fucking whoop. Kelly Brook knows the 31st is like the prom. It sucks, but you can’t really stay home and drink cocoa in protest. So why not get wasted and have unprotected sex with your date and maybe a couple of his buddies? There’s nothing so wrong it can’t be made right by tits. But adult Halloween parties are super close.

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