Jennifer Lawrence Boycotts The Internet

Jennifer Lawrence is adamant she will never join Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, is on the fence about Plenty Of Fish and will most likely invest in some carrier pigeons. Lawrence went out of her way to specify that she’s basically a technophobe out of protest for the fact you can see where her babies will come from on the Internet:

“I really like laser focused… It’s because the Internet has scorned me so much that I feel like it’s that girl in high school that I’m like, ‘Oh you want to talk about her? Yeah I’ll do that!’ Take my hoops off, I’m ready to go.”

Lawrence should look at the Fappening as a blessing in disguise. When Larry Bird’s father committed suicide it drove him to become the best player in the world. It sucks everyone saw you masturbating but on the bright side you don’t have to waste your time interacting with a bunch of dipshits on Twitter. I’d gladly broadcast a colonoscopy in exchange for not having to click Like on Facebook a hundred times a day so I don’t offend my female friends and leave my male friends wondering if I’m gay and unemployed.

Photo Credit: Getty Images