How Did You Celebrate Britney Spears Day?

Actually, it was yesterday. You missed it. But when next November 5th rolls around you get your ass to Vegas to celebrate Britney Spears Day in the typical custom of shaving your head with a box cutter and lip-synching Britney’s greatest hits while your children cower behind the toilet apparatus.

Britney Spears was presented the key to the Las Vegas Strip by a bunch of government officials in the area with fake jobs sponsored by the seven original crime families. If you ran a blue light over that key it would glow every single inch in white. Somebody needs to dip that fucker in some 6m HCl for about ten minutes to render the blood and sperm safe for children. Britney beamed and read out some rehearsed lines about Vegas feeling like a second home and how the Gambino Pimento Import company was helping her buy sparkle makeup for the local children’s cancer charity.

Britney encouraged all Britney trannies to come to Vegas to celebrate her special day and confuse her new boyfriend with feelings he never knew existed inside of him:

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