Prince Charles Might’ve Dipped His Wick in Streisand Butter

According to the Globe tabloid, which once reported a story correctly in 1989, Prince Charles is preparing to divorce his second wife, the comely lady Parker Bowles because might’ve doinked Barbara Streisand twenty years ago. The thought of older people having sex bothers me in a way that’s difficult to put into words. It’s more of a gagging reflex followed by dashing to the highest window on the building and defenstrating. No offense, old people. The thought of Prince Charles and Barbara Streisand having their respective gonads within a Beefeater’s hat of each other makes me wet burp. The evidence for the Streisand-Windsor love affair is pretty unassailable. According to an unauthorized biography written in crayon and excerpted in Highlights magazine, Charles met Streisand in 1994 while at a very important gala and later arranged for a private tea at the Hotel Bel Air in Los Angeles. I think we all know what private tea means for a passionate cocksman like Charles. Wrap that boner up in an ascot and lay it down right next to the scones.

I wish Charles nothing but the best in his senior years of laying regal pipe. It’s hard not to root for the guy really. Those big fucking ears and premature balding while spending your entire life watching your old bat of a mother outlive you on the throne. He dutifully married a chick he didn’t care about and kept quiet when his mom had her killed. Now he’s 65 and he just wants to have nose sex with a crazy fucking annoying 70-something diva. Let them live for fuck’s sake. Unless they start taking selfies, then we’ll need to queen to contact the special unit at MI6 once more.