Paris Hilton Embraces the Holidays

Paris Hilton seems to be missing her teenage model boyfriend. He wasn’t her intellectual match, but when he complained about the demon bumps bursting out on his gonads, Paris slapped him across the face and told him he wasn’t being very polite and he never brought it up again. He seemed like a keeper.

Paris spent much of pre-Halloween weekend sharing pictures of herself topless with a Teddy Bear who was wondering what the stuffing he did to deserve winding up a naughty selfie prop. Paris tried on various Halloween costumes until she found the bit of Americana she could most chum up in her easy girl works factory. Minnie Mouse with the cute powdery sneeze. Paris Hilton has been one of the key figures in corrupting an evening meant for children to dress like Dracula and get some candy into a ten day long celebration of costumed sluttery.  That and not killing anybody that we know of remain her finest accomplishments.

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