Kendall Jenner Is Cruising for a Bruising

According to a typically spotty US Weekly report, Kendall Jenner is infatuated with Chris Brown. Jenner reportedly took a liking to him after he was released from jail for beating Rihanna. In the world of US Weekly articles written at the 8th grade level, that makes him a ‘bad boy’ and not an abusive sociopath with misogynistic tendencies.

Jenner partied with Brown at the VMA after party where Suge Knight took up to thirty-seven more bullets. Jenner likes a guy who can take control. The kind who can really hold you down and beat the shit out of your face. Normally I’d have sympathy for the naive suburban chick who thinks hanging with a black dude with Bloods gang ties is outrageously rebellious and group text worthy. But this is not a tale of the troubled wayward youth with few options. This is a chick who was bred to crave attention, money, and high profile fucked up famous men. The writing is on the wall. If you’re stupid enough to get involved with Brown you deserve to get punched in your generic looking face. It’s called thinning the modeling herd. You can always pull day shift at one of the seven Burger Kings Kanye bought your sister.

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