Kate Upton’s Tits Will Soon Own Google

Kate Upton and a dozen or so other celebrities from the hacked titties photo imbroglio have retained the services of celebrity scandal attorney Marty Singer to threaten to sue Google for $100 million, or what the people at Google like to call, lunch money. The overwrought teen legal letter accuses Google of not being responsive enough in killing URLs featuring pictures of Kate Upton covered in Cy Young goo and Jennifer Lawrence touching her niblets.

“Like the NFL, which turned a blind eye while its players assaulted and victimized women and children, Google has turned a blind eye while its sites repeatedly exploit and victimize these women.”

There are certain attorneys in Los Angeles who specialize in taking big wads of celebrity billable hours in exchange for trying to get their embarrassing photos or tawdry conduct allegations redacted from the web as if that’s actually a thing you can do. Still, there’s the appearance of something being done which is almost the same as something being done. Google probably did make some serious co-advertising dollars off the bump in traffic related to The Fappening. Online hosts tend to be more ‘cautious’ when removing content that is making them money than they do Aryan hate speech sites that refuse to use Google AdSense because they think it’s run by Jews. But it’s also true that celebrities have a lot of retainer money to waste fighting Pyrrhic legal battles. Pretty much the entire world minus those billing big fat hourlies knows you can’t put the hot naked genie flicking her bean on video back into the bottle.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet,PacificCoastNews