Miss America Is a Vagina Shamer

Recently crowned Miss America Kira Kazantsev was kicked out of her sorority while at Hofstra for excessive hazing of pledges while serving as the recruitment chairwoman for her Alpha Phi sorority

Pledges in the incoming class were called names, berated for their perceived physical flaws and imperfections, and made to perform physical tasks to the point of bruising and exhaustion

That kind of makes me wistful about my own childhood. It’s not really even as bad as the millions who were forced to watch her play with a red cup on stage while everybody nervously applauded like when your neighbor’s fat kid does an obvious card trick for the guests. According to Jezebel, purveyor of all things for women who aren’t that good at hiding their hatred of men, the sorority hazing at Hofstra can get ridiculously cruel and sexually degrading. Or what I like to call, the point at which I become mildly interested:

the final two steps of pledging in one (unnamed) sorority involved making all of the pledges remove their underwear and sit on newspapers while the older members forced them to watch lesbian porn. Anyone whose newspaper stuck to them at the end of the video, the former student said, was branded a dyke, ridiculed, and tossed out. The remaining girls were then forced to perform oral sex on their sorority big sisters

Yay, you’re not a dyke, now eat my pussy. That’s so twisted and convoluted and totally fucking amazing. That’s the kind of crap the Marquis de Sade would’ve needed ten years to invent in story, but these chicks are doing it every Fall before Homecoming. If anyone ever asks a Hofstra grad what the fuck is meant by their school nickname, Pride, I’d point right to the lesbos squatting on the newspaper bit.

The Miss America organization was aware of Kira’s psyche damaging shenanigans before the contest, but they let it slide because by arrangement the Russian girl from New York always wins in an even or odd year. They’re not exactly flush with sponsors. Plus it’s not like she did something horrible like Vanessa Williams who posed naked for pictures and let herself be black. Once Kira is done solving world conflicts, illiteracy, and spends three months in the arctic keeping two major ice floes conjoined so Seattle won’t flood, we’ll forget all about her ripping a few teens with stinky vagina slurs.

Photo Credit: Getty Images