Melanie Griffith Is Ready to Date Again

Nothing says I’m AARP and DTF quite like wearing a sheer short dress at a vegan smoothie stand in L.A with your former husband’s name tattoo under a bandage on your arm. Melanie Griffith has it just right. Securing her fourth model husband won’t be a simple task. Plastic surgery and swallowing pills of bitter disappointment are just the basics. Pulling off sexy and vital at 57 is another matter. Madonna is banging 20-something ISIS Undecideds but that’s more by fiat than physical-skeletal attraction. Sharon Stone is plowing through young men who agree to leave her lair before the first rays of natural sunlight expose the sinew and cord binding her together like a haunting Tim Burton stop-motion figurine. Melanie has the distinct advantage of money, fame. and a house big enough to accommodate a hunky young man with acting talent yet to be recognized by the industry. I suspect she’ll have some Chad or Brandon dick inside of her before her final round of laser tattoo removal replaces Antonio’s name with her Tinder handle.  Keep the clothes sheer and the smoothies GMO free and the boys will come.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI