Maria Shriver Struck First

Maria Shriver splayed the victim when it became public her husband had banged a mini-me into the frumpy house maid, but Maria was apparently cheating on Arnold as well. Shriver has just recently begun publicly dating Matthew Dowd, Arnold’s former gubernatorial campaign manager, but according to semi-reliable sources, they’ve been hide-a-humping each other for decades. That’s a lot of back room banging. Arnold froze Dowd out of his campaign after his fingers were found stinking of  Maria’s grim cooch. Its unclear why Maria’s affair did not go public, though it could be because the press loves Maria Shriver as 94% of them still masturbate to JFK, while pretty much everybody has hated Schwarzenegger at least since he got clown hair and started abusing Terminator lines on the campaign trail. I suppose Maria and Arnold were just two practical souls who realized their marriage was good for both of them, but that didn’t mean they wanted to see each other naked.

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