Lolo Jones, Red Bull, Short Dress, I Still Ain’t Watching

Dancing with the Stars has to be the biggest gay trap on television. Dancing anything really. I’m not like Alec Baldwin. I hold no dark and hateful sentiment toward men who love one another with little seductive nibbles on each other’s scrotes. I like anybody who doesn’t insist on playing piano at parties or holds sacred a 9/11 conspiracy theory. But hiring a whole bunch of good looking women with amazing legs for a TV dance show is so blatantly a setup for even the Chuck Norrises among us to wake up with a cock in his mouth, it really ought to be labeled as so in one of those lower-thirds TV ratings. At one time, gay men and women were entirely excluded from television fare, or when included, used as the butt of jokes. Now my TV smells like Hugo Boss and has an an early 80’s mustache. Life would be so much better if pendulums didn’t swing.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI