Jessica Simpson Hair Extensions Almost Hide Her Tits

The ladies magazines are going whole hog over the sight of Jessica Simpson’s hair extensions visible after she got off a plane at LAX from New York. Fuck, when I get off a plane I look like one of those post WWII refuges trudging over the Rhine carrying a broken chair and a cardboard suitcase. If there’s any atrocity it’s that those Guangdong woven locks almost covered up Jessica’s tits spilling out of her top.

Simpson had been in New York talking to Matt Lauer about her body evolution. That means she wasn’t fat, then got really fat, now she’s not so fat anymore. Simpson admitted to Matt Lauer that comments about her being a fat fatty with a gay daddy in tight slacks hurt her because she’s a woman with both feelings and hormones. Simpson said she rose above her personal pain by thinking about all the women she could help learn to obsess over food and calories and weight so they could lose nine pounds and force their husband to find a different excuse for not wanting to touch them. Then Simpson took some selfies of her new body, squirted some breast milk on Matt Lauer’s scalp to make hair grow back, and announced that she was worth five million dollars more now than she was at the start of the interview. And you want to talk about her hair.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI