Chris Brown Leads To Bad Things

Some totally innocent guy got stabbed at an after party where Chris Brown was performing. Cops suspect Brown’s crew of known Bloods gang members may be to blame because stabbing is listed on their Match.com profiles as their interests right after reading the Sunday paper and before hiking. Law enforcement officials have grown tired of the swell dancing scourge and reached out to nightclub owners to black ball Brown and his posse of feckless LA based Chicago Bulls supporters. Club owners have rejected the freeze out plan because cash spending patrons have come to expect a posse stabbing with their impostor vodka at their skank-filled venue of choice. The owners of these shitboxes are smart enough not to hang out in their own seedy establishments past midnight, so they could give a fuck who gets stabbed at four a.m. It’s all good for business.

Chris Brown is a proud gang member and will probably be killed by an even more proud gang member in the near future. A few twelve year old girls will cry and throw flowers on a makeshift memorial outside one of Brown’s fly cribs, at which point most people will try to name one of his songs and change the channel.

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