Paris Hilton Presses Play

Paris Hilton is currently on a two month world tour where she DJs and stares blankly at an imaginary cure for herpes in the distance. Being a DJ is a logical step for Hilton as it requires four part name recognition and zero parts anything else. A real DJ might employ some minor skill learned at high school parties to mix tracks and scratch records, but Hilton obviously can’t do those things. One observer described the scene in St. Tropez:

“The crowds do seem to enjoy it, but most are too off their faces [intoxicated] to care that she’s simply pressed Play on a Beyoncé megamix.”

Paris is apparently making close to $350,000 dollars for her one hour appearance. If you are visiting a night club that has 350k to give to a one-eyed whore, you should reexamine your life over several cheap beers in the nearest dank shit hole, because you are currently in the habit of associating with fucking morons. It’s heart wrenching to hear Hilton is raking in cash while vets are homeless and Hillary Clinton can’t afford female dental dams. It’s even more alarming to learn there are thousands of people dumber than Paris Hilton walking this earth.

Photo Credit: Instagram, INFphoto.com