Lindsay Lohan in A Bikini Writing Her Memoirs

According to an inside source almost certainly Lindsay Lohan’s publicist, the red-headed eternally drunk Freshman girl is going to write a tell-all book that is going to blow the roof off of something. According to the unnamed, anonymous, and likely paid source, the trifecta of solid journalistic sourcing, Lindsay has been hitting up London publishers with sample tales of her celebrity life that have made their ‘jaws drop’. Given that Lindsay’s already had her drug and drinking life well documented, had her private life exposed in five thousand TMZ stories sold by her parents, and even wrote down a list of all the celebrities she’s slept with in Hollywood on the back of a tampon wrapper she left behind at a Denny’s, it’s hard to imagine there’s more. But Lindsay falls into that category of extreme offender where I’m certain there is.

It may seem unlikely, but she thinks she’s in with a shot of getting (Fifty Shades of Grey) E.L. James to work on it — they met recently at the Chiltern Firehouse and got on well. Another pie in the sky idea was that she might persuade J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter) to work with her.

Both of these seem like completely plausible ideas. I’m sure every vaunted British author will be clamoring to pen partially recollected memories of Lindsay being rabbit fucked in her ear by a tweaking Bob Saget. I bet there will be some shit in that book. But who’s going to pay $25 for a copy versus waiting for the four reasonably interesting bullet points to be posted online? I hope she’s not counting on this tome for her back rent. At least she found a better bikini top for her tits. Baby steps.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet