Give Kendall Jenner Her Fucking Booze Already

Everybody knows that slogan about how ridiculous it is that you can go to war at eighteen but you can’t legally get a drink. That’s nothing compared to being an eighteen year old growing up in the Kardashian cat house. You deserve a fucking cocktail. But Mercer Kitchen in New York doesn’t understand droit moral and told Kendall Jenner and her little buddy Hailey Baldwin they couldn’t get booze with their lunch. So Kendall and Hailey took off without paying their tab. They don’t need that shit. Age is just a number. And if you times Kendall’s age by two and add three zeroes you know what number it costs to bone her for an evening.

The stiffed waitress just wanted her tab so she took off after the girls into the street:

Kendall and Hailey started laughing. Kendall took a couple of $20 bills out of her wallet, threw them at the server and walked away, not even counting if it was enough or if it included a tip.

Representatives for both girls who are paid to say it was all a misunderstanding came out and said it was all a misunderstanding. I wish they could’ve been honest and said it’s the height of inanity that an eighteen year old whose been on the pill and watching her entire family fuck rappers since age twelve can’t get a simple fucking vodka tonic at lunch. Kendall’s lifelong battle with alcoholism is starting with or without your help. So why not help?

Photo credit: Splash News