Charlize Theron Black Balled Tia Mowry

SoulCycle is the sacred temple of Ra for the spiritually retarded celebrity community. It’s where the tomes of wisdom reside in the sweaty Lululemon crotches of the men and women who stationary cycle heavenward. The first rule of SoulCycle is you don’t fart in the Spin Room. The second rule is you don’t talk about SoulCylce. Especially shit about the famous people in your SoulCycle class. Tia Mowry went and told some media outlet that she met Charlize Theron at SoulCycle and Charlize dismissed her like an impolite bitch. When Charlize Theron got wind of the leak, she demanded that the SoulCycle excommunicate Tia for breaking the second rule of Soul Cycle, and possibly the first rule, although the whoever smelled it dealt it clause makes that a tricky accusation.

When Soul Cycle refused her request, Theron got even angrier, confronting the manager:

This nobody who was famous for a minute 20 years ago can complain to the tabloids about me but I can’t expect you to protect me from hangers on in your studio?”

Charlize’s outrage implies she takes rules very seriously. Or it could mean Sean Penn has her cycling on his HGH so the couple can rage together. Nothing binds a relationship like jointly beating down an undersized Filipino paparazzo with your boot heels. Both Mowry and Theron’s public relations reps are denying any of this ever took place, so you know it’s true. Which is awesome because girl fights at any level give me a boner.

Photo credit: PCN