What If Danity Kane Reunited and Nobody Noticed?

Who can forget where they were when they heard Aubrey O’Day had left Danity Kane? Aubrey didn’t quit so much as Sean Combs fired her for having vagina lust. Aubrey showed them all by growing her totally natural breasts two cup sizes entirely through the power of prayer. She then released a solo album that got solid airplay on Channel 7 Contemporary on United Airlines headset radio. The Danity Kane girls have reunited a few times before, but never for such a major gig as an off-strip Vegas hotel pool party. It wasn’t quite as awkward the KISS reunion at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when Peter Criss announced Gene Simmons yiddish curses had given him breast cancer. But it was super close. For ten seconds everybody stopped looking at Aubrey’s tits . Had it gone eleven seconds, the universe would’ve fractured and Ike Turner would’ve been re-born and beat the crap out of everybody. That’s why I hate reunions.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News