Oscar Pistorius Ruled Not Crazy

A judge ruled that Oscar Pistorius cannot claim insanity in his murder defense because shooting your nagging girlfriend seems pretty normal to most dudes. Pistorius’ lawyers now must rely on the dumbass defense as to why Oscar shot at a supposed intruder through a closed door. Shoot first and ask questions later, especially when you have an even money chance of killing the burglar in your toilet and not your girlfriend. Pistorius will likely claim he needed to protect his space age legs against thieves. He races for the glory of South Africa. Some models might just have to die. That’s called collateral damage. He could start humming the national anthem and talk about how South Africa used to be respected just a couple centuries ago. Killer instinct is why Pistorius is an Olympian and I waste my life asking questions like ‘Who the fuck is there?’ when I have an infrared scope aimed at a hollow core door.

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