Lindsay Lohan Is Moving to Europe Because the Floors Are Softer

Lindsay Lohan announced she’s moving to London because they don’t have TMZ on TV there, just thoughtful news and music programming.

“It feels really good to be able to turn on the TV and not see everything be about gossip.”

I take this to mean she hasn’t figured out how to change the channel yet on her hotel room remote. Like so many not so super intelligent ex-pat celebrities running from bad reputations, Lindsay has been drawn to the European sensibilities concerning privacy and personal space. Lindsay was expounding on such in Italy when she took a dive on the red carpet and was surrounded by thousands of cameraman trying to get pictures of her urine soaked panties. It was at that low moment Lindsay realized the pointless effort to out-run her demons and decided to finally face the childhood trauma that led her to such a fallen place. Just kidding about that last part. But not the part about the urine soaked panties.

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, FameFlynet