EJ Johnson Gets A Gig

Magic Johnson’s obnoxiously affected son EJ is joining the cast of Rich Kids of Beverly Hills Season 2. The lifeless caricature of affluence will be consistently blurting out nonsensical cliches about fashion and yachts alongside some other annoying cunts. Its almost as if his parents compensated for a chaotic home life by showering him with useless shit from an early age. The human nature vs. nurture exhibit will be paid scale for doing his impression of offensive early 80’s gay movie characters, dropping gems like:

“Whether it is Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, honey, yachting is always cute.”

Johnson apparently does have ambition beyond flaunting his overpriced garbage in the manner dumb little kids will bring out their toys to show you. He aspires to be a fashion designer, which will work out well for his father when he needs to dump some long term cap gains to finance his kid’s cocaine year in Paris. I plan to watch the show so I will be familiar enough with the cast to be called in by the County Coroner to make a positive ID when their overdose time comes. Also, that moment when all the other gay people call Johnson a fucking annoying queer I want on my DVR.

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