Donald Sterling Is Crazy Like a Fucking Crazy Fox

Donald Sterling went balls out during his first appearance in probate court to discuss whether he’s mildly crazy, very crazy, or actually died two years ago in a brothel in Compton and we’re all crazy. Based on his belligerent behavior in the court room, it’s clear this trial is going to spiral into a ridiculous 80’s film featuring farm animal pranks and a hungover Sterling taking the stand in a sombrero. He joked around with the judge to a degree that would have had me or anyone else pistol whipped by an aggressive Rusty the bailiff. He also repeatedly insulted the lawyer cross examining him:

“Be a man for God’s sake be a man!… I don’t think you’ve been practicing very long… Tell me where that’s relevant and that you’re not trying to be a smart ass. What a weird lawyer. What did you say your name was?”

Those comments are only funny in the context that the opposing attorney is 85 years old, one of the most accomplished lawyers in LA, and Sterling knows him very well. Sterling also called his wife Shelly beautiful and intelligent which easily could sway the judge toward a finding of batshit cray cray. Some have surmised Sterling is trying to extend these proceedings until such time as it’s too late to change ownership before the next NBA season. The NBA could just expel the Clippers as a franchise and declare all of their players eligible to sign with other teams. But that would cause epic amounts of chaos. The kind of chaos crazy people crave.

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