Chrissy Teigen And Her Tits Get Gaza

A foreign conflict demands the immediate attention of celebrities who not only went to acting school, but also drink coffee with people who have read newspapers. Naturally, all the Euro celebrities in their millennium long anti-Semitic bubbles are demanding Gaza be set free, just as soon as they can find it on a map. They just know the Gazanians are being mistreated by doctors and accountants and record company executives running Israel and the media. Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem penned an open letter demanding Israel stop its genocide. Then Penelope clarified her remarks when she remembered Woody Allen is the only guy who will hire her to play leads any more:

“I don’t want to be misunderstood on this important subject. I’m not an expert on the situation and I’m aware of the complexity of it.”

No need to apologize, Penelope. Even without a solid basis for understanding, leveling war crimes charges seems like a thoughtful opening gambit. Selena Gomez changed her Twitter headliner to ‘Pray for Gaza’, though her political expression may be more related to recently discovering she’s a lesbian than anything she learned in her first and final year of her elementary schooling. Madonna loves Israel but felt obliged to write something poetic about how the children of Gaza were like flowers in a vase. I suppose that sounds better than comparing them to human bombing decoys, which is more factually correct.

Chrissy Teigen, who is uniquely self-aware about the proper role of celebrities in relation to geo-political conflicts noted on her Twitter that the road to peace was the Jack in the Box drive-thru. It wasn’t particular hilarious, but it was the least annoying thing penned by an actor/singer/model in the past two weeks about Gaza.

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com