Ben Stein Judged By Pregnant Hooker

Ben Stein is being accused by a pregnant lady of being super fucking creepy. No, that’s not a crime. Stein met Tanya Ma, a self described performance artist and former escort in the airport. Former escort being something akin to former Guatemalan. Stein proceeded to give her money to stay at a hotel and she sent him her ‘performance art’, which I’m guessing is not MOMA eligible content. The two texted quite a bit with some steamy old man entries on Stein’s part:

“When you get here i want to hug and kiss you. I understand you don’t want to fuck me. But i want to touch you and kiss you.”

When Stein started coming on harder than apologetic requests for first base, Ma first asked if they couldn’t just be dinner buddies. When the requests for nookie kept coming, she got on the sort of self righteous feminist kick only pregnant web cam whores are capable of and called him out publicly:

“It’s unhealthy and toxic behavior that needs to be exposed”

There’s nothing worse than a prostitute who needs to be reminded of the underlying principles of her chosen trade. Most “former escorts” would rather talk to some dude over a free coq au vin  than suck his balls, but I’m sure Stein has plenty of buddies and a wife he can eat with and not have to feign interest in their performance art by texting boner pics. Stein is now owning this whole thing as if he is a martyr for the sexually incompetent senior citizen cheaters:

“I have never touched her, I have never had any sexual contact with her. I should get a medal for helping this woman.”

Failing to bang a whore does not make you a hero, but I can’t think of anyone else whose creepy transgressive sexting would go only as far as hugging and kissing. Its almost cute in a new millennial sort of way where everything is crude and people are terrible. Meantime, Stein needs to get his act together. At this point, it’s going to take him thirty years and thirty grand to get to third base. Fingering a whore won’t seem so cool when you’re 99.

Photo Credit: Getty Images