Alix Tichelman Arrested For Killing Google Executive With Kindness and Heroin

If this chick’s name is actually pronounced Tickle-Man, this becomes the best crime story ever.

Forrest will be remembered above all as a loving husband and father. More than anything else he enjoyed spending time with his family at home and on his boat.

That was Google executive Forrest Hayes’ obit after he was found croaked on his yacht last Fall. I guess loving dad also liked to spend time on his boat with expensive escorts with party drugs. Like aspiring model Alix Tichelman who police eventually ID’d from security video as the woman who shot up Hayes with a needle full of heroin then wiped down the scene and ditched when lover boy when into overdose mode. Apparently it’s second degree murder in the Silicon Valley when your John OD’s on his Google funded yacht. I guess she could’ve called for help, you know, like prostitutes do in the movies where they look like Julia Roberts and have amusing banter with their coworkers over salads. In order to lure Alix back to Santa Cruz where the crime was committed, police pretended to be hiring her for a $1,000 4th of July fuck in a fancy hotel in Santa Cruz. She showed up in her finest crotchless panties and they arrested her on the spot. That’s some Hercules Poirot meets Craigslist shit right there.

All of Hayes’ friends and co-workers are writing gushingly nice things about him on memorial web pages. I’m sure he was a helluva fellow. But he was also a dude who banged prostitutes and shot up heroin on the yacht he named Escape.  It’s hard not to feel like maybe he lacked foresight, if not irony. His family can rest easy knowing his sordid tale will not come up in European Google search results six months from now.

Photo Credit: Alix Catherine Tichelman/Facebook