Whitney Houston Superfan Buys Her Old House

In Los Angeles, 1.5 million gets you a junior sized bungalow where Judy Garland used to chase downers with whiskey while screaming at Liza for being such an ugly baby. But in New Jersey it gets you Whitney Houston’s 13,000 square foot home on five acres with a tennis court and pool. It’s the same home where Whitney married Bobby Brown and sealed her fate. Some young physician in Jersey purchased her former residence, claiming he loved her for the generous and caring person she was. He labels the real estate acquisition as a smart investment even though the home has been dropping in price ever since originally being placed on the market. I assume he means there’s likely enough cocaine hidden in the mansion to vault him into prime position to become the next El Chapo. It’s all built into the wallpaper. The strawberries taste like strawberries and the snozzberries taste like Whitney’s upper lip if you had licked it right before her last bath.

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