The Situation Stiffs His Staff

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has switched business paths from spreading social disease on camera to aiding people in their quest for melanoma. He opened a tanning salon in New Jersey which employs his mother, brother, sister, and several other members of his coming up circle along with some unfortunate strangers. This is how the rich stay rich. They don’t just lend away their hard earned reality TV money to their loser family members. Instead, they abide by the Italian tradition of offering them menial jobs in shitty franchise operations. Apparently four of the salon employees had their paychecks bounce and filed a report with the Middleton Police Department. Officer, I’d like to report that I’ve just been fucked by The Situation. They get that a lot.

The insufficient funds paychecks were for between $100 and $200 which would put these people somewhere in the income range of unable to figure out the welfare system. The Situation’s brother Frank said he was surprised that the employees went to the cops because it had only been a few days since the checks came up bad. We all know a few days means about a week, and if your weekly income is around a a buck fifty and you’re staring down your last syrup sandwich, well, fuck you, boss. Frank Sorrentino claims the mistake was due to a recent change in payroll companies, which is Jersey for money moving from his left pocket to the right pocket. Implied in his defense was the fact that people should feel lucky to be within six ultraviolet degrees of his brother Mike, the first Sorrentino to ever fuck a college girl.

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