Miley Cyrus’ Biggest Fan Is Deaf

The obsessed fan arrested for stalking musician Miley Cyrus is apparently deaf. Devon Meek is also batshit insane, a fact confirmed by police when he informed them he is a huge fan of Cyrus. Since he can’t actually hear Cyrus’ honking he mostly makes up his own songs and attributes them to her, which isn’t a bad idea. Why not bestow imaginary talent onto a chick you want to bang? Or in the case of Meek, cut up into little pieces and feed to your cat and then bang. I’m going to start pretending that Sasha Grey was the front man for Nirvana. And that Kate Upton was the first person to walk on the moon where she implored the moon people not to treat her like a sex object.

The problem for Meek is that he’s legally restrained from being within a football field distance of Miley Cyrus. Out of pure caution he’ll have to walk in the other direction every time a twelve year old boy steps into his virtual perimeter. Still, the law can’t stop Meek from jerking off to his I Heart Miley back tattoo while looking over his shoulder in the mirror. Justice may be blind, but it’s not deaf.

Photo Credit: Instagram