Jenny McCarthy and Sherri Shepherd Un-Rehired

Sherri Shepherd won’t be coming back to The View. I know, I wish my office building window opened as well. Sherri’s people want to make it very clear that she wasn’t fired, she just wasn’t re-hired. Sort of how my last girlfriend didn’t break up with me, she just asked me not to come over anymore ever. This serves as a particularly large blow to people who take the time out of their busy mornings of folding a towel and cheating on their diets to listen to Sherri’s uneducated conjecture mixed seamlessly with USA Today factoids about the topics of the day. Also to everybody dying to know if Sherri’s lightly employed ex-husband will keep their baby gestating inside an unidentified third party. Now I need to read Bossip for another six months.

Jenny McCarthy, whose thoughtful lesbian reading glasses fooled nobody, announced on Twitter “If Sherri goes… I go too #sisters”. This may have been a more courageous stance had Jenny McCarthy also been fired, err, not re-hired. Still, the #sisters note does mean she’s now officially an auntie to Sherri’s throat baby. That means she’ll get to take the kid to see Annie, tuck into coffee shops for hot cocoa on cold New York days, and casually laugh about whooping cough and tuberculosis returning to our nation’s cities after many decades of viral retreat. Amid all the non rehirings, ABC announced that the show will be headed in an exciting new direction next season. That can only mean one thing — chatty fat Latinas!

Photo credit: ABC/The View