Dave Chappelle Needs New Stories

In one of his rare talk show appearances, Dave Chappelle and his newly beefed up cranium wasted no time in getting into the circumstances of his meltdown and walking away from his Comedy Central show. For such a terrible experience, he seems fond of recounting it. You start with ‘Hey, Dave…’ and he takes that as a demand to hear his full sad saga along with an accompanying Powerpoint deck. I’m tired of hearing about it. Chappelle lost out on fifty million, but he’s also made a ton on residuals while holed up in Ohio thinking about going Dorner on Ivan Reitman.

“I can’t make my kids an integrity sandwich”

Why not? Are you out of dignity bread and honor salami? Chappelle is currently promoting a string of nine upcoming shows at Radio City Music Hall, which should pay him enough to buy his kids some decent food. That is until his rant about only getting half a mill for his hour long set then stage diving into the crowd covered in his own feces. How’s that for integrity, kids? Daddy’s pride just cost you a Ferrari.