Casey Kasem Unplugged

Casey Kasem’s kids move fast. After retrieving their severely ailing dad from their questionably sane stepmom, they moved to have all of dad’s life support shut down so that he could rest in peace. It’s unclear why step mom Jean Kasem was so intent on keeping her near vegetative state husband alive and away from her kids. We do know she likes to make up passages from the bible while hurling ground beef. Could it be the $80 million Casey is apparently worth? Who gets that when Casey’s feet are no longer on the ground and reaching for the stars? Jean yelled out a final ‘His blood is on your hands!’ to the kids after the judges ruling allowing tubes to be removed. That should help start the healing.

I’m told by all the helpful headlines that this kind of end of life shit is going to be more and more common with divorce booms of the 60’s and 70’s now coming home to blended family roost. I’d suggest a one-page form for every person of certain age to mark off and sign. A simple list: Fuck My Current Spouse, Fuck My Ex-Spouse(s), Fuck My Stupid Kids, Give It All to My Cat, Mr. Dithers. Check off all that apply. So long, Casey, you probably deserved better than this.

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