Jessica Simpson Makes Standing Up Look Hard

Jessica Simpson deserves a lot of credit for all of the weight she’s lost in the time that she hasn’t been doing anything else, but we’ve reached the point of enough already. Of course we’ll continue to encourage her to try to look as sexy as she once did when she redefined cutoff jean shorts for an entire new generation of dumb blondes, but whatever is happening in these awkward Instagram photos of her with a golf club is not helping anyone. She looks awkward and confused, like if Courtney Stodden had an older sister who wasn’t as outgoing and psychotic, and if someone takes that driver away, she’ll fall over and shatter into a million stretch-marked pieces.