Jada Pinkett Smith Calls Everybody a Pedophile

Maybe you thought it was weird that 13-year old Willow Smith was in an Instagram photo in bed with her 20-year old topless guy friend Moises Arias. And that’s why you’re a pedophile, according to Jada Pinkett Smith who felt obliged to respond publicly:

There was nothing sexual about that picture or that situation. You guys are projecting your trash onto it, and you’re acting like covert pedophiles, and that’s not cool.

No, not cool at all. I think she means the pedo part, not the covert part, because you are going to want to hide that pedo stuff a bit if it’s your hobby. I have to agree with Jada that there’s nothing particularly sexual about that picture. There’s plenty of pictures of me from middle school with topless 20-year old dudes in a bed. It’s called my YMCA campers yearbook that the police only recently returned to me after the statute expired. Intuiting some kind of suggestiveness on the part of Willow is counter intuitive to how Will and Jada have raised their children to be completely in charge of their own lives from a very early age. Will has said before that parents don’t own their kids, that’s too much like slavery. Which is a solid parenting belief, not to mention stymies any reporter followup as you’re a black man bringing up slavery. School and parental supervision are overrated anyhow. The Smiths believe in letting their children grow up as they see fit, so, mostly Ring Pops, Sex, and Video Games. It’s like the movie Kids, but with lots of fuck you money and Scientology mixers.