Rob Lowe Is Too Handsome

World’s most perfect looking man puppet Rob Lowe claims he’s been discriminated against for being too handsome. The guy who starred in all of those 80’s movies and one underaged girl sex tape told the New York Times that he’s felt disadvantaged from being really really ridiculously good looking. Rob Lowe has had a pretty decent career playing comely lads doing handsome boy things. Most recently he played the attractive guy on Parks and Recreation. He wishes he’d stop being typecast.

“There’s this unbelievable bias and prejudice against, quote-unquote, ‘good-looking people,’ that they can’t be in pain or they can’t have rough lives or be deep or interesting. When I was a teen idol, I was so goddamn pretty, I wouldn’t have taken myself seriously.”

There is no doubt that he is a pretty man. I’m not gay, but if I was, I’d be plundering Rob Lowe’s booty like Bluebeard. But is being super fucking handsome really a disadvantage? Try walking a day in my fat goofy-looking shoes, I’m pretty convinced that doors magically open for the beautiful and slam in the faces of we trolls. Even if that’s not true, it seems true, and it fuels the fire in us common folk to become powerful enough to steal your horses and rape your women just to get back at God. I just looked up Rob Lowe’s net worth: $30 million. I just looked up his bang list of hot models and actresses. Being typecast sounds truly horrible.