Poor Prince Harry, Back To Sleeping With Any Woman He Wants

Everyone in England had thought that 29-year old Prince Harry had finally found love after dating Cressida Bonas for almost two whole years, after a string of rumored flings and girlfriends before her. Sad news for fans of symbolic royalty today, though, as the Daily Mail confirmed that the couple has indeed split, while denying rumors that Cressida had become too clingy, and instead feels that she needs to focus on her own career. And at 25, she’s made an incredibly wise decision, because instead of having anything she wants handed to her on a silver and probably gold platter for the rest of her life, she now has to actually work. Sure, she won’t be wealthy in terms of having access to the royal family’s fortune, but she’ll be wealthy in another, far more meaningless way. As for Harry, well, they might as well just put him out of his misery. There’s no way a wealthy 29-year old playboy can rebound from this one. Poor guy will probably never know a woman’s touch again.

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