Katherine Heigl Is Too Important to Be Captured

Katherine Heigl is suing the Duane Reade chain of pharmacies for precisely six million dollars. It seems that she was leaving one of their stores in New York when a pap shot a picture of her carrying lots of Duane Reade bags. For some stupid reason the pharmacy decided to brag that she likes to buy her fungal infection salves and colonics at their store. Because that will definitely make you want to shop there as well, just to catch the scent.

“Love a quick #DuaneReade run?  Even @KatieHeigl can’t resist shopping #NYC’s favorite drugstore.”

Heigl is pissed off about them using her sacred image in what amounts to a commercial. The six million dollar suit is based on what her inflated fucking ego thinks she is worth. Where it gets really weird is how much she brags about herself in the suit:

“Plaintiff is a highly successful television and motion picture actress, producer and celebrity. Plaintiff continues to be in high demand in the entertainment industry…A recent search for ‘Katherine Heigl’ on the Google search engine returned over 3.2 million results.”  And she says she boasts 754,000 Twitter followers.”

Did it happen to mention that the vast majority of those 3.2 million Google results were Katherine Heigl super cunt and Katherine Heigl nipple pokes. The days of her starring on Grey’s Anatomy and Knocked Up are gone. Adopting ten more Korean babies can’t save you now, Instead of suing, let people know you’ll be there on Sundays at noon and see if Duane Reade will kick in for some free Midol for your promotion. The RomComs are gone forever. At least you won’t have to go through career death with cramps.

(Photo Via Twitter)