Don’t Be Left Off the Denounce Racism Train

America has two open sores. The lingering haunt of racism and the cynical competition to disavow racism as rapidly, universally, and mindlessly as possible. Racism is a cliche in itself, the remnants of bygone eras of thoughtless tribalism that encouraged the masses to spend their time hating false enemies in the place of the real power holders. Calling people racist is the new cliche. I get it in letters all the time here, even though I once got to second base with a black girl so I hardly think that’s possible. Donald Sterling actually is a racist. He isn’t just the Archie Bunker lunkhead uncomfortable with all change and progress, he’s overtly discriminated in deed against minorities in his business dealings. He has a solid and long term record of being a total shithead, and a racist, but nobody seemed to care until his hooker (no offense to hookers) walked him into hanging himself on tape. Now everybody and their mother is denouncing Sterling. The Clippers players wore their jerseys backwards at midcourt before the last playoff game as a sign of protest. Right before they turned them back around so they could all cash their million dollar paychecks from Sterling. The NBA is ‘investigating’. What they are investigating exactly is unclear. After 33 years of doing jackshit about Donald Sterling being a blight on the NBA, they’ve promised a speedy inquiry as to him telling his paid skank that she can fuck black dudes, just don’t bring them to his basketball games. Magic Johnson was one of those black dudes in question. He’s outraged. He even Tweeted. Michael Jordan is outraged. LeBron James is super duper outraged. Obama took a copy of the angry letter he wrote to Putin about the Ukraine and replaced the word Putin with Sterling and Ukraine with ‘black people’ and fired it off to the Clippers owner. Sadly, just like Putin, Sterling took Obama’s letter and laughed out loud while he fucked his hooker on top of it. Sports commentators have all lamented. Even Sterling’s son-in-law who works for The Clippers has fired off his own ‘look at me, I’m not racist like you are’ proclamation. I guess it’s brave to ignore an important dude who pays your salary being a major league asshole until it becomes a big media story and you have to suddenly be outtaged. The definition of bravery is pretty whimsical. It used to be the first man rushing into the breach. Now it’s disassociation as fast as your little chicken legs can carry you. I’m not saying Donald Sterling is not a racist asshole. I’m saying if you’ve waited until he was 81 to make first mention of it, you need to do a little Michael Jackson man in the mirror self-reflection time. Not that that stopped Michael from clown bagging little boys, but you get the idea.