Matthew McConaughey Is Just Like All Of Us

Because we need constant reminders that a lot of famous people were once ordinary losers like us, people are going crazy over this photo of Matthew McConaughey dressed up for his high school prom. After Matthew won the Oscar for Best Actor on Sunday night, a girl Tweeted this photo of her aunt and the Dallas Buyers Club star from their big night many years ago, and I guess it’s cute in a folksy kind of way. But what I’d rather know is how dirty they got in the back of their limo or back in their hotel room that night. Did Matt give her an epic, all-night fit of sexual ecstasy or did he pump two times, jizz on her leg and then cry and apologize as he drove her home? That’s the kind of shit we need to know to determine just how normal this guy really was before he became a huge star.