Irina Shayk in Lingerie

I wonder if the Russians are angry that all their good looking women flee the country the second their breasts appear. I’m guessing in places like Somalia, when the next chick who looks like Iman comes along, the tribes gather together to fill a straw bowl full of dried starvation berries and shove her toward London or New York with a grateful heart. But Russians remain very proud of their empire, such as it stands. Did you see those opening ceremonies in Sochi? That’s big cock type strutting. I wonder if all this Russian aggression is just because they want their sexy women back. The ones they can screw with the lights on. Don’t tell me that theory doesn’t make more sense than anything you’ve heard yet on the news.

Photo Credit: La Clover