Deimante Guobyte in A Bikini

I’m getting really fucking close to learning this girls name. I’m perhaps one solid wardrobe malfunction away from assigning the frontal lobe power required to pronounce a foreign name. It’s too late for the current generation, but it would be nice if we started limiting the number of girl names worldwide. We could just call the oblong and unattractive babies, Lena, the middling girls we’d rely on someday to fix our computers, Nancy, and the genetically blessed girls we could call something exotic like Miranda. It would simplify life immensely. Questions like, ‘Hey, have you seen Lena?’ would elicit the response ‘No, why would I want to?’ until such time as people just stopped asking the question. People might still say, ‘Do you know where Nancy is?’ to which everyone would respond, ‘No, why, is your WiFi not connecting?’. Everybody will ask about Miranda, and she’ll pretend she can’t find dates.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News