Sharon Stone Refuses to Reverse-Defect to Cuba

Sharon Stone is suing the producers of a Hemingway biopic because she didn’t want to go to Cuba. You know, because it’s fucking illegal. It all started when the cut-up crone was cast as Hemingway’s wife Mary in a film called Papa which is being produced by Bob Yari. Part of the film is supposedly getting shot in Cuba where Hemingway lived for many years drinking and fucking Havana’s famous whores. It is against the law for non-Cuban-Americans to go to Castro’s Island of Decrepit Cars without special paperwork. Yari wanted Stone to lie and say she was going on a “cultural endeavor” instead of the truth, that she’s going to make a movie none of us will ever fucking watch. When she refused, both old and newly reformed parts of Sharon Stone was fired. She’s suing for her promised paycheck of half a mill.

Having jumped through the Cuban hoops to get a visa to visit the old homeland, I can tell you they are pretty fucking selective about who they let into their world’s crappiest house party. Most film productions use Puerto Rico or the Dominican Republic to double as Cuba when shooting movies set there. Of course, you can always sneak in. For the most part, if you’ve got money, they’ll let it slide because they need American dollars something fierce. But it remains illegal on the U.S. side to do this. And while it would make for a harrowing tale at some future SAG Awards while Sharon Stone is holding up her trophy and feigning humility, what she really needs is the quick cash to pay for new cheekbone technology that will allow her to open her jaw wide enough to fellate her way back into some bigger budget motion pictures.