Chris Brown Isn’t Going To Jail…Again

Chris Brown has his ass saved from prison lights out penetration once again after a judge dismissed a motion to take him out of rehab to serve time in prison. The screechy chick beating douche is currently serving a 90 day stint in rehab and anger management after beating up a guy in Washington, D.C.. This violated the terms of his probation for having kicked the living dog shit out of Rihanna’s face. Prosecutors wanted Brown to serve some jail time, but the judge said that Chris was doing well in Malibu by the shore and didn’t want to interrupt his tremendous progress in building sandcastles and Tweeting out insipid inspiration messages. Apparently the judge is unable to see the 99.9% likelihood that Brown is playing nice to get himself out of trouble. You might be able to kick drugs and booze but being an asshole psycho is a chronic and incurable affliction.

For now, Brown is safe in his cozy little rehab place sharing his feelings and triggers for violent behavior. Yo yo sometimes I just feel the feelings getting all over me like. For Chris Brown to see jail time, he’d probably have to punch Michelle Obama in the shnozz. I’d hate to see that. Please.