Charlie Sheen’s Next Wife Is Still Married to Somebody Else

Porn stars can be the most forgetful people. If it weren’t for their helpful cadre of drug-supplying personal assistants, they’d walk right outside with men still inside of them. You can’t blame Brett Rossi for forgetting that she was still married to some other dude when Charlie Sheen got down on one knee to find his missing eight-ball and also asked the multi-orifice queen to be his fourth wife. It’s an exciting moment in any girls life when a violent older man asks them to switch husbands. But, yeah, turns out Brett is still married to some poor shmuck who also thought marrying a porn star was a killer idea. Charlie’s reps, I can only imagine how wonderful that fucking job is, are quick to point out that Charlie already knew of this other husband and legal documents are in the works to get it all cleared up. This really is just like a fairytale, if fairytales were written by drug and STD saturated trainables.

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