Woody Allen’s Son Is Unhappy

There was one person who was not happy with Woody Allen receiving a lifetime achievement award at last night’s Golden Globes and that’s his son Ronan Farrow. Ronan claims that Dad Woody diddled his sister. No, he’s not talking about the sister Woody later married. Mia Farrow has always asserted that Woody touched his adopted daughter Dylan in the stranger danger spot when she was seven. Mind you, this was right after Woody left Mia for most definitely touching her adopted adult daughter Soon-Yi in the same spot. As a result, Ronan thinks his dad is an asshole. If my name were Ronan I’d hate my father too. Ronan tweeted,

“Missed the Woody Allen tribute — did they put the part where a woman publicly confirmed he molested her at age 7 before or after Annie Hall?”

I mostly like Woody Allen movies, but I can’t say as I would want him as a dad or let him alone around my kids. It’s sort of the way I felt about Michael Jackson. I’m gay enough to have memorized the entire Thriller album even though when I close my eyes I can see Michael pushing two sequined fingers up a sobbing McCauley Caulkin’s arse cheeks. We all have our angels and demons, though not all of our demons finger little kids I suppose. Still, Ronan needs to get over his ‘I hate Dad’ shit. Nobody wants to see a full grown man bitching about his father. I can’t even watch Hamlet without rooting against that whiny motherfucker. Go drown Woody in the Hudson and call it a vigilante kill, otherwise, shut the fuck up, you’re ruining Annie Hall and her gender ambiguous screed.