Dennis Rodman Claims He Isn’t a Traitor, Just a Drunk Asshole

Who will weep for Dennis Rodman when he’s finally fed to the hunting dogs in North Korea? Well, maybe weep for the poor hounds who get his rank meat after a couple weeks of starvation. The lost and wandering soul with the disturbing nose ring made his way to North Korean once more to shill for the latest Great Leader of North Korea. Maybe Kim Jong Un is helping Rodman pay out on his outstanding child support liens or something. It’s hard to imagine he’s being a traitorous dickbag for something other than money. His latest trip included singing Happy Birthday to Kim Jong Un at a basketball exhibition. He also got liquored up and went on CNN to defend North Korea’s imprisonment of American journalist Kenneth Bae for talking about how awesome Jesus is while in-country. Kenneth Bae’s family accepted Rodman’s apology the next day but noted that being drunk was not actually a good excuse for being a jackass who consorts with the enemy. I doubt we’d let Junior Jihadists in America use that excuse when we bust them building bombs in their Newark adjacent apartments. Fuck, man, I was drunk. I wasn’t really going to blow up kids. Allahu Akhbar, God Bless America. Rodman ought to be arrested if for no other reason than introducing basketball to a nation where the men run about 5’7″ in their tattered stockings. They already have no food, now impossible NBA dreams.

Photo Credit: WENN